Gottman Couples Counseling

When relationships are difficult, many couples wonder- Do we really belong together?  Often these people are simply missing knowledge and skills about how to keep their friendship alive and manage conflict capably and constructively.  Once both partners know how to apply the right principles, even when your difficulties have become serious, amazing things can happen.

Over 30 years of scientific couples research by John Gottman and others has shown what leads to successful relationships and what destroys relationships. This study has produced scientifically validated tools which allow couples to dramatically change the course of their relationship for better.

Common concerns and specializations:

  • Learning to communicate openly and effectively
  • Expressing love, affection, respect and support
  • Changing old patterns and habits that no longer work
  • Escaping from repeated cycles of conflict
  • Sex/intimacy concerns
  • Parenting challenges/new parents
  • household, chores and work/family balance
  • Working out specific issues that seem impossible to resolve
  • Learning to compromise
  • Finances and money
  • Coping with crisis, loss, illness and death
  • Productively dealing with betrayal, blame or guilt
  • Anger
  • Pre-marital counseling
  • Figuring out of it's time to end a relationship and move on
  • Learning to grow as a couple without giving up individual dreams and goals

Work with each couple begins with assisting you both in taking the time needed to clarify and define your goals for therapy during the intake sessions. Then together you will create a plan/path based on those goals.  You will see the patterns keeping you stuck in the same recurring struggles and how to approach them differently.  The ways in which you will approach your goals are tailored to the unique people that you are, and to the relationship you are wanting to create together.

It doesn't have to take years to manifest and maintain that connection and spark again, but it does take focused attention and commitment to prioritizing your relationship.  On average couples are seen for 15-25 sessions, ranging from 4mos-1year.  Upon ending therapy, some couples choose to continue with sessions over time (1-4x yr.) for relapse prevention.

If you are interested in setting up an appointment with a Gottman trained therapist, please contact Ivana at 503-688-0935 or at

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